Being a professional writer scares the sh*t out of me

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I’m not sure that I could cut it as a professional writer because I am scared of deadlines. My horror scenario is getting a fabulous, high profile writing gig and then shitting myself because I don’t know what to say. In this scenario I am incredibly stressed, maybe getting ill, crying, wimpering and generally being pathetic rather than just getting on and getting it done.

But I can handle deadlines in my day job as an IT consultant. I’ve just come to the end of three projects which all had to be done by the company’s year end. They have been my focus for the last four and a half months. Sometimes they were scary and daunting. Sometimes they interrupted my sleep. Two of them felt impossible when they first landed on me.

Year end was last week and I have completed all of them. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Last night, when I was cleaning my teeth, a random thought about the fear of not being able to write to a professional deadline floated through my head. I did my usual response of “I’m not sure I could cope with that. What a shame as I’d love to be a proper writer.”

But then I thought “Wait a minute — you’ve just done this at work. Surely you can do it for yourself as well?”

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